To the girls

Inside every older person is a younger person -- wondering what the hell happened.
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Inside me lives a skinny woman crying to get out. But I can usually shut the bitch up with cookies.
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The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy.Helen Hayes (at 73)-
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I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray eyebrows.
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Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse.
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My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first one being -- hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
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Old age ain't no place for sissies.
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A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he can't.
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The phrase "working mother" is redundant.
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Every time I close the door on reality, it comes in through the windows.
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Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.
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Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.
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I try to take one day at a time -- but sometimes several days attack me at once.
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If you can't be a good example -- then you'll just have to be a horrible warning.
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I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb -- and I'm also not blonde.
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If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them.
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I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.
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When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invadeanother country.
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Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.
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In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man. If you want anything done, ask a woman.-
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I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career.
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I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man, I keep his house.
Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission.
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