Can men ever win an argument?????????

WIFE VS. HUSBAND

A couple drove down a country road for several miles,not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and
neither of them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats,?and pigs,
the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"

"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."

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W O R D S
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day...
30,000 to a man's 15,000.The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"

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CREATION

A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you?can be
so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.???

" The wife responded, "Allow me to explain.
God made?me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;

God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!

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WHO DOES WHAT

A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.

The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first,
and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."

The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking?around here and
you should do it, because that is your?job, and I can just wait for my coffee.

"Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it?is in the Bible
that the man should do the coffee.

"Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me.

"So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament
and showed him at the top of several pages,that it indeed says.........."HEBREWS"

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The Silent Treatment

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day,he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.?
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,"Please wake me at 5:00 AM."

He left it where he knew she would find it.The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight.

Furious, he was about to go andsee why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."

Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

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God may have created man before woman,
but there is always a rough draft?before the masterpiece.

To the girls

Inside every older person is a younger person -- wondering what the hell happened.
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Inside me lives a skinny woman crying to get out. But I can usually shut the bitch up with cookies.
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The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy.Helen Hayes (at 73)-
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I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray eyebrows.
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Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse.
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My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first one being -- hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
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Old age ain't no place for sissies.
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A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he can't.
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The phrase "working mother" is redundant.
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Every time I close the door on reality, it comes in through the windows.
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Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.
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Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.
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I try to take one day at a time -- but sometimes several days attack me at once.
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If you can't be a good example -- then you'll just have to be a horrible warning.
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I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb -- and I'm also not blonde.
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If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them.
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I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.
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When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invadeanother country.
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Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.
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In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man. If you want anything done, ask a woman.-
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I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career.
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I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man, I keep his house.
Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission.
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